Thursday, January 7, 2010
how can love be wrong?
I love the Challenge That Dare Not Speak Its Name. But why? Why are GLBT issues so important? We've been asked to answer that question this month as part of the challenge. Truthfully, I almost decided to not write a post. Not because I didn't want to, not because I didn't care, not because I don't believe that they are important. I do want to, I do care, I do believe that they are important. But the reason I almost didn't is because I seem incapable of talking about things that really matter to me in a coherent manner. I stumble over words. I can never seem to say what I feel in the eloquent fashion that others do. And this leads me to worry that I will ultimately do more harm than good. But here we go anyway, in my own possibly indecipherable jumble of words...
Gays. Lesbians. Bisexuals. Transgenders. Me. What do we all have in common? Lots of things. But for one thing, we're all people. We all dream. We all want. We all give. We all take. We all love. But NO two human beings are the same. And I feel like I want to know each and every one. I want to hear everyone's story. Obviously, I can't hear all the nearly 6.8 billion stories out there. But I still want to hear as many as I can. No, I can never truly understand what it feels like to live in someone else's skin, but stories can bring me a little bit, and sometimes a lot, closer.
But that's the bigger picture in my mind. There's another reason. A reason that pummels my heart and makes it ache beyond words. It's the story of someone real. Rich's cousin. He's gay. When he was a young man, many years ago, he told his parents that he was gay. His parents would never have anything to do with him again. His parents have both died in somewhat recent years. But in all those decades in between, nothing. Nothing. Ever.
This abandonment happened before I'd even met Rich. And when I first heard this story, I was sick. Sick. What other reaction can a person have to stories like this? It's simply unfathomable, isn't it? Unfathomable. How does a parent just say, "Get lost. You no longer exist to me."?!! How does a person bring a child into the world, raise them, claim to love them...and then decide they don't want their own child in their life anymore simply because of who they are?!!
Yes, I'm crying again. I cry every time I think about this. And sometimes I throw up. Rich's cousin and his partner have been together longer than Rich and I have, and we've been together nearly 23 years. How can that be wrong? How can love ever be wrong? Hate. Now that's wrong. Intolerance. That's wrong. Bigotry. That's wrong. But love. Love...no, definitely not.